Americans Don’t Understand English – The Jonathan Ross Show
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Americans Don’t Understand English – The Jonathan Ross Show

October 31, 2019


the thing about Americans that I’ve thought about the languages that they speak they say they speak English but they had to change it to make them understand it more go with me on this because I’ve thought it through they’ve changed some of the words so they’ve taken the English language but they’ve looked at some of it and they thought no no I think we need a little bit more explanation here okay that’s my American accent so things like pavement so they can’t work work with pavement so they’ve changed it to sidewalk they needed more information they needed to know where they were going to be walking so they wouldn’t get run over so that’s in I didn’t think of I hate mint sidewalks I think there must been a period of time where they ran with the word pavement but they kept getting hit by cars so they changed it to sidewalk now bear with me here John because I’ve thought this through been the word for bin in American waste paper basket they needed to know what not only what to put in it then you didn’t know that not only it was paper but waste paper and then it goes into a basket it’s not just any paper they kept throwing away fresh paper for a period introduce the word waste paper back in fact they need instructions glasses for your eyes they call them eyeglasses they need to know where to put them on their face because they used to have glasses and they would put them on their thighs feet and they would say I can’t see any better with the glasses no there are verses well why don’t you call them our closest there’s a game called squash that you heard of it yes not in America racquetball they need it’s a juicer they needed to know what they were going to be playing with a racquetball and even then they get confused because there’s no court they don’t know where to go they just wander through the street going I want to play racquetball I want to move so probably glad to change that but my favorite one without a shadow is horse riding you know what horse riding is in America it is not called horse riding do horseback riding to specify because there was a period of time when they didn’t call it away they go they had with him used to hold on to the tail horses in Europe that’s a whole different thing you’re doing that anybody’s watching the show who may have been flicking your channels it’s not a moment this was a story about America of descriptive words I’ve never been in the mile-high club hey why are you waiting for come on we know the answer but uh who was the closest to him in the bang I think when were in the banjee maybe maybe it was me um and you know I think we all kind of noticed that he wasn’t thoroughly enjoying it and we were and you know it’s it’s it can be an intense job at times and I think it got a little bit too much room and he wanted to be in a different place and that’s fair enough

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  1. 😁 I'm English and married to an American and he still doesn't understand a lot of what I'm talking about. When I first said I was taking the piss he thought I was actually taking a piss. Then when our son was 8 I told him to put his jumper on my mom in law was you cant put him in a dress.🤦‍♀️ oh my favorite thing to do was teach my mom in law English words without telling her the true meaning. Rule number 1 out in public shout the word till you get it right. (Wanker) 2 don't tell her the meaning till get home. 3 instead of telling her what it is say goggles it.😂😈. She is my best friend and always takes my side when ny husband and I are fighting even when it's my fault. Oh and after 15yrs of marriage he still can't pronounce my home town or Hampshire. Its HampShireeeee🤦‍♀️ but I still love him.😁

  2. Brits are so butthurt about so many things with americans… It's embarrassing.
    By the way, british accent in general is very unpleasant, as are the brits.
    Fuck you, your "original English" and, of course, your queen.

  3. In Australia we call it a foot path!!! In Australia yes same with everything else! Horse back riding, etc! Aussie Land is more proper English then the fucking yanks! They’re morons!

  4. I think the simplification of English in US might came from the fact that it's a country built by many non native speakers therefore it was easier to communicate/explain to each other stuff this way(?). Just a thought. I'm not an American nor a Historian and not a native speaker myslef:) By the way the joke is hilarious!

  5. Let's not forget ' Fortnight', Americans think its only a game! They prefer 'two week period'. I think they love to hear the sound of their own voices.

  6. He's a COMEDIAN, therefore no offense 😉
    The comments made by him were also made in d " KAZANIAN" household =}
    " Havej akhel" I would hear this all d time…no comedians in that house though 😉

  7. The vocabulary difference is
    American English: More simplified and Germanic (sidewalk)
    British English: Unnecessarily more complicated and less Germanic (pavement)

  8. Actually we call it squash here in the U.S. as well. And for a country that calls the room with the toilet a "loo" you've got a ways to go with your own word "magic".

  9. I dont really know. I live here in america but i don't see anything wrong with words being different here. Dialects and languages form through word variations and stuff like that. Like dutch and afrikaans. Theyre mutually intelligable but have different grammar and uses in some scenarios

  10. Squash & Racquetball aren't the same thing. Pavement is paved and made of asphalt but sidewalk have forms, are poured, and are made of concrete (at least where I live in Canada).

  11. Four years later, we have President Donald Trump, you have Prime Minister Boris Johnson.
    Debate's over, everyone lost.

  12. Pronouncing the word 'buoy' as boo-ee is hilarious. It's pronounced BOY. It's simply an abbreviation of the word 'buoyancy'. And we don't say boo-ee-ancy, now, do we?

  13. Jonathan Ross…so handsome and check this…his adorable kis are Honey Kinney, Betty Kitten, Harvey…what a lucky wife he has

  14. This is part of the reason why I have so little respect or regard for the British: their constant need to ride down Americans at every opportunity. Get over it. The Revolution was over 240 years ago. You lost. Suck it up.

  15. First of all I live in America and there is no such thing as a waste paper basket Second of all it is called I trash can 🗑

  16. And stop talking trash about how Britain can talk in a different way then America and everyone knows that Americans are always right

  17. I'm American and live in the UK now and this is so true but I've never said waste paper basket not sure who was telling him that?? We say Trash Can or just Trash

  18. Wastepaper basket is an indoor trash can for things such as (you guessed it).. paper. The term wastebasket seems to be more common now as it's less specific

  19. I kinda find it interesting that there always more comments about butthurt americans than actual butthurt americans.

  20. To all of the people in the comments who complaining and or just being assholes please remember Micheal is only joking, don't take this so serious because in reality it doesn't fucking matter. So get over yourselves.

  21. They also completely messed up with quote marks. In American English if you have a quote followed by a comma or full stop (i.e. "woof", said the dog), you put the comma inside the quote marks ("woof," said the dog). What is this lunacy? Is the dog saying "woof comma"? Are quote marks some kind of punctuation black hole, and anything too close to the event horizon gets sucked in? It's horrible, and makes things so much harder to read.

  22. I've lived in the US for almost 14 years (about two-thirds of my life) and couldn't remember what they call a conservatory.
    It's literally sunroom. A room that gets sun is a sunroom. Wow

  23. Reading the comment sections the Americans have taken this really well lol fair play to them! Just British banter

  24. As a Texan that knows how to ride a horse I take a little offense to the horseback riding comment. I just say I'm going riding

  25. Unlike your isolated little island we have cowboys and Indians so we often have to distinguish the style of riding. cowboys ride in the saddle, and Indians ride horses ''bareback'' Hollywood wrongly shorted it to riding horse back. We see with glasses and we drink from glasses, yes we do need to make a distinction sometimes. We also say reading glasses, and for a good reason. Only offices have waste paper baskets because they're only for PAPER not rubbish. They watch our TV a little and they think they know somethingAmerica is like Goliath and every little David piss ant, think he's ten feet tall if he can find fault!

  26. I thought racquetball and squash were two slightly different activities? And pavement is not the same as the sidewalk, either. Pavement is the asphalt stuff roads are made of.

  27. Well this explains my experience with this one American who was trying to hit on me. I’m European and he didn’t understand several words I said, like “prude”, “plan” and few others, he just kept repeating “what?” even when I said them slowly. I checked later and I was pronouncing them correctly, well, in the British way. It seems to me that Brits are more willing to understand you if you’re not a native speaker than Americans, might be because of the fact that they are way closer to countries that speak other languages than Americans (geographically), and that Americans have smaller vocabulary. 😂

  28. As an Indian who have grown up learning English Grammar(UK) when we heard American english, only one feedback came out i.e.
    WRONGGGGGGG!!!!!

  29. I’m American and agree with every bit of this. Brits are just way cooler tbh, they don’t take shit seriously like we do over here in the uptight dumbed down land of free

  30. I also realised that Americans love to use the brand name instead of the product name. Had a American friend come to New Zealand and she was like "it's so hard to get an Instant Pot here. Like how am I gonna get my work done and not have a meal to come home too?" And I was like "you mean a pressure cooker? Why not get an electric pressure cooker that is also a multi-cooker?" And then she goes "no? I need an Ins-tant Pot! Get it?"

  31. Americans actually use more vocabulary words in normal speech than any other English speaking group. It’s not that are Americans are stupid, we just prefer more descriptive words and have been told slang makes us look bad for our entire life. Comparing English slang to the full American term isn’t exactly fair.

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