Hey guys, welcome back to Ultimate Chicken Horse I’m Wade, LordMinion777 JP: Wade! I said do it over! Pat: *laughter*
Gar: You say do it over? What? JP: Re-do, Re-do! Wade: JP apparently said something horrible in his intro, I’m not sure what happened JP: Hey Warriors, my name is JPW03 and welcome to Ultimate Chicken *JP is cut off by Gar* Pat: I think I heard JP say ‘cock’ JP: No I said I needed to replay and Wade said he’d agree with me and he lied to my face *Wade’s laughter*
Jp: Exposed! Gar: Exposed? Hey guys, welcome back to Ultimate Chicken Horse Pat: ULTIMATE CHICKEN COCK! Gar: Yay! Wade: I’m Wade, LordMinion777 Gar: Guess what you’re gonna find in your KFC? JP: Wade, wait.
Pat: COCK! What did Wade say? Gar: A fried one.
Wade: I said what you wanted me to say. Pat: DEEP FRIED! Gar: Deep fried!
Pat: Yummy! JP: Ultimate Chicken… …cack. Gar: Oh, I guess this’ll be a cheap one. Pat: Chicken cack? Is that what you said? JP: CHICKEN GACK JP: Oh Wade, you lost the item.
Wade: I got the item. It is… What is that? Oh… I got the same pants I already had! JP: I got cock suspenders. Wade: Oh noooo that’s doable! That’s actually doable! JP: *Shrieks as he falls to his doom*
Wade: Never mind. Y’know what, never mind, I can’t, so we’re good. JP: Yeah, it’ll be fine. It’ll Ultimate Chicken Cock itself out. Pat: *Gasps* What?!
Wade: What was that? Wade: What… WHY DID I- WHY DID MY ITEM DISAPPEAR?! Gar: Oh, what the fuck? Okay, bye everyone! JP: Bye felicia. Pat: Oh, I did it! JP: I can’t get up the plank! Wade: JP, can you… There you go, JP! All you had to do was give it a little- *all laughing* *JP screams in rage* Gar: Hi JP, you’re next to me! JP: I died in a hole of sadness and shame! Gar: Oh my god. JP: This is Ultimate Fricken Horse.
Wade: Wait, can we… Can we recap? What happened the last time we all played Ultimate Chicken Horse together? I’m trying to remember, I feel like it was a fateful day. JP: Oh, we’re not talking about the last time we played Ultimate Chicken Cock. Wade: Huh. Patrick. Gar: C’mere Pat. Gar: Oh man.
Wade: Patrick! JP: What a dirty, dirty player we have here today! Pat: I like it! Gar: Oh fuck, oh- okay I’m dead. Fine, fine I see how it is. *Wade screams in fear* JP: Titty mama.
Pat: Christ. Gar: Bye guys. *All laughing* Pat: What do you do for focus?! JP: I couldn’t dO NOTHING Wade: We know, JP. Gar: So many of us ended up dying anyway. Pat: Well, the coin is still there. Gar: Oh, I wanted to grab the crossbow. Pat: Uhhhh… HIYOH JP: *Laughing* Hey guys… BOOM! Wade: JP!!! Pat: Boom! Wade: Patrick! Gar: Coinin! JP: This is Sucky Ducky JP: AUGH How about that for anti-climactic duck? Wade: What?!
JP: AUGH!! Wade: Why didn’t I get a chance? JP: AUGH! Gar: Why are you screaming so much, JP? You’re not even falling. JP: I almost DIIIIIIIIEEEDDD Pat: WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOO! JP: I made it. *Assorted grunting* Wade: What?! That’s bull! THAT IS BULL!! Pat: What is that? What was that?
Wade: I don’t know. Wade: What is this? Pat: What do you have?
Wade: I don’t know. Pat: What is that?!?! JP: Its a hack. Wade’s hacking. Wade: I don’t know but I’m really excited about it. JP: I’m not. Gar: I don’t know what that is. It’s been a while. JP: *Clapping* Niiice. Good form, everybody. Wade: WHAAT?! NOOOooo I got bladed through the floor…! JP: Wade, that’s adorable. Wade: Just like that. JP: You just got… flipped in the… Gar: What is that thing? I can’t even… oh. JP: What is that?
Wade: I don’t know. Wade: I don’t know if it’s friendly or not.
Pat: …going to have to find out.
JP: I’m not a fan of it. Gar: I’m going to find out, I’m just waiting for… I just have to jump and… Gar: There’s no good times. Wade: RUN GAR! Gar: *Screams* Gar: God.
Wade: Run better next time! JP: By gosh. Pat: Alrighty. Let’s do this. JP: Hey, I want points now. Points, points, points. JP: I’m just gonna blow everyone. Wade: …What. Gar: Why would you do such a thing? JP: What? MY COCKY Wade: Buk… Did you just yell Bukkake? JP: No, my car keys. Gar: Your car keys?
Wade: Oh, your- AUGH! AUGGGHHHHH! WHY IS THERE ICE?!?! JP: That’s not very ice of you *terrible, terrible pun* Gar: Oh, ice. I thought you said eyes. Pat: I may have put ice on the thing. Wade: Yeah, I found it. Thank you, Patrck. Pat: Uh-huh. Wade: That wasn’t a real thank you, Patrck! Oh, bye Gar! Gar: God!
JP: Ayyy, Macarena. Wade: How long?
JP: In the arms of the angels… *laughing* Wade: How did you guys make it before, but now that there’s more chances to make it, we’re not making it? JP: *Sings*
Wade: Wait, where am I? Pat: Bye Wade.
Wade: Wait, why am I not here? JP: Didn’t pick an item fast enough. Wade: I picked an item! JP: I guess not fast enough. JP: Gotta be faster than that.
Wade: This is baloney! JP: I gotchu a dollar. Wade: AUGHGHGHGHGHH! Bock my life! JP: AUGH! Bock-a-doodle-do. A chicken… got bocked. Pat: HaHAHA! You guys are out. JP: I feel like I’m a chicken. Pat: I feel good.
JP: Wade, Wade: WHAT. JP: What are you doing? Wade: Nothing. JP: You didn’t pick anything.
Wade: I’m here. Gar: Decisions, decisions. Wade: Don’t you dare, Gar. Pat: DO IT
Wade: GAR *Gar laughing* JP: *singing* Is it too late to say sorry? Wade: *Trumpet imitation turns into garbled choking sounds* JP: Help. Gar: Ohoho, I heard that crunch, JP. JP: Yeah, that was my nards. *Laughing* Pat: Your cack. Gar: Your cackles. JP: *cackling* Gar: Oh, I wanted that. JP: That’s my cackle-bedacle. Pat: Cackle my nackle. JP: Like the salt on your rackle. Gar: Oh, um… JP: I just blew everything. Pat: Ruby Tuesdays. Wade: You blew everything? JP: Ruby Tuesdays? JP: AUGH! Wade: Oh my- OH MY I LANDED ON IT JUST FINE OH I SCREWED EVERYTHING UP. JP: What was that, Wade? *ragelord* Wade: Nothing. JP: Can I have that in Engrish? Gar: Hey. Ow. OW. Wade: I LOST MY CHICKEN BOY JP: I don’t know where the level is. Gar: The camera is zooming in on you. *Laughing *JP screams in intense rage* *Everybody laughing*
Wade: Oh my god. JP: I’M ULTIMATE CHICKEN SALTY Wade: Nobody can break their microphone like JP. Pat: I can’t place it…? JP: It’s like they fixed it. Wade: Better hurry. Pat: What? I… *Starts laughing* Gar tried to blow something up but it didn’t blow up. Gar: OH, WTF- oh, okay, bye. JP: Bye Felicia. Gar: Oh, no Pat, I was just trying to destroy the teleporter. *Wade clucks* *He clucks again* JP: Cock-a-doodle-do. Wade: JP, you are taking that right up the buns. JP: Yeah.
Pat: *at Gar* For me, you blew the other two things up as well. Gar: That’s not what I was trying to do.
JP: Dangit, I’m gonna get last! Wade: *ominously* Two turns left. Pat: *imitating guitar* JP: UH x8 Gar: JP… Pat: *Continues imitating guitar* Wade: Seriously? You’re gonna make it impossible? JP: Suck it, game. If I can’t win, I can’t lose. Wade: YOU JUST MADE GAR WIN, SO YOU DO LOSE. JP: We don’t have to logic this out. Wade: I’m just jumping off. There’s no reason to try. JP: UUUAGGHH What a jump- prest- wow, tit. Gar: Bye, JP. JP: Bye Felicia. Pat: I believe. Wade: Good work, Pat. You did a great job getting over there. Too bad you’re not getting rewarded. Gar: So, about that. JP: Go into the solid snake form. Pat: I think this counts as a win. JP: I think it does. I’d count it. Who’d count- raise your hand. Wade: JP, YOU BLOCKED IT OFF *Gar laughs*
JP: What’s that? A salt? Shawty salty? Pat: I’m not gonna die, I’m just gonna dance. Gar: I’m sure our audience really appreciates that, Patrck. JP: *singing* Do you believe in love after love? Wade: *singing* I can see the sheep fall to it’s death. *Everybody singing at the same time* Wade: THERE’S NO BOMB! JP: I have so much power. Pat: *laughing* Jp and I both got it. JP: I have so much power. Pat: JP, JP, c’mere, c’mere, c’mere. JP: Okay, okay, we can do damage. Pat: Where should we put it? JP: I don’t know, I don’t know, I’m panicking! *screams* Wade: Put one on top of the stairs.
Pat: JP! Let’s make a penis! Pat: Let’s make a penis! We can make balls right here! *Gar laughing* Pat: YEAH! *laughing* Gar: It’s got a weird girth over there. JP: This game just got nuts, amiright? *Gar laughing* JP: *Victory screeching* Wade: Did he just leave and do a victory lap around his room? I can hear him running around and celebrating. Nobody has ever celebrated the male genitalia like JP has tonight. JP: I just… Wow, I just had a party. I’m really hot.
Wade: We heard. JP: You did? You heard me jump on my bed? Gar: Yeah. Wade: I thought you were doing a victory lap, in all honesty. JP: I was doing a victory lap. I went all the way around. Wade: Gar, you have an opportunity here Gar. You can die along the shaft. And go right into the balls. Pat: Die on the tip! Die on the tip! Wade: Die on the tip, or get sucked into the balls, Gar. JP: Die on the tip and then go to the balls. *Wade laughing* Ok. JP: Alright, or just dodge the whole sack. Gar: I wanna thank JP and Patrck for helping me win. Thank you guys. JP: I think me and Pat get creative wins. Gar: Oh, hi, I’m over here now. Wade: I get wins for just dealing with the three of you. *Outro music*