I went into 2016 with the highest hopes and expectations. Came out the other side, looking like THIS. Optimism has always been exploited in the games industry. “I’m trying to make Fable 2 the greatest role-playing game of all time, again.” “What we’re gonna be doing is focusing on a few features – ” “and polishing those to the highest possible level we can.” “And the first feature I to- spoke about was – ” “How come the screen’s gone black?” But now we’re really starting to see that seep into the indie games scene, too. And I think a lot of gamers are right to be so weary and distrustful at this point. The most dissapointing title for me was Hitman. It started out great. You had all this… stupid shit you can do. “Drop whatever it is you’re holding! You understand?” Dunkey: It’s just flowers. “YOU SON OF A – ” [ gunshots ] There’s all this ridiculous voice acting. “Sir! ” What? “You know what happened? Who did this?” Uh-uh. “Wouldn’t be you, would it?” Wasn’t me. But, as they rolled out the missions – it became very clear how little freedom you actually had in tackling them. In contrast to last year’s Metal Gear, where you could do anything you can think of, Hitman ended up feeling very prohibitive and empty. And I think Game Informer said it best with their review. Looking back on 2016 though, I’m actually surprised how much good stuff I played this year. There was uh, The Witness. That – which made me very angry. Uh, The Last Guardian. TONY HAWK 5 [ cracking up ] Ultimate Chicken Horse. Now, this is a game that anybody can play. SKY: How do I press A? JESSE: “How do you press A”? SKY: No, I – “The rules are simple, get to the flag.” “If you can do it, but your friends can’t – ” “you get a point.” DUNKEY: And I can’t leave the spawn. Good level, guys. “Everyone takes turns adding new pieces to the level.” “You must work together to make the level possible” “but also against each other to make it harder.” JESSE: This is actually possible now. DUNKEY: Here I go. ???: No, it’s not possible – DUNKEY: Oh yeah?
???: I mean – DUNKEY: OH YEAH? DUNKEY: Hahahaha!
??? #2: No, it’s not! [ chuckling ] DUNKEY: Oh – GOD DAMMIT! FU-
[ everyone laughing ] DOOM, hahaha! Fuck you! [ chuckling ]
Fucking piece of shit! Right, guys? That was a pretty fun game. Uh, Color Splash finally recaptured some of that original Paper Mario magic. But a lot of stuff could have been streamlined or just entirely removed, because it was trash. Yacht Club came in and showed these fuckin’ shitshows how to run a Kickstarter. With Plague Knight. That’s a free update for Shovel Knight that completely remixes the game. It’s incredible. Stardew Valley. That was Leah’s favorite game last year. I’m still waiting on the co-op for this. Thumper. This is some evil Satan shit. It’s been described as a psychedelic horror rhythm game. And there is pretty much nothing else like it. Smashy Dick? Oh! Smashy Brick. Now, this is the one where you can play as videogamedunkey. How do you beat that? They brought me in to do the mocap. “Good thing I have my spin move!” And it even has all my signature moves from real life! Pokémon GO actually got me out of the house exercising. Here I am before the game came out. And look at me now. BAM. Still don’t have Pikachu. All right, now we got the piece of SHIT games outta the way – Let’s get to some real stuff! Number 10. Sonic the Hedgehog 3, baby! That’s how ya know I’m not fuckin’ around on this list. Every level in this game is super replayable and gratifying. You got Michael Jackson’s crew doing the music. You got Peter Pizzarelli working the fucking graphics. Look at this shit! I didn’t even know there was that many god damn colors in the fuckin’ rainbow. SHEEEE YEH I think what makes Sonic 3 so exciting and fresh to play today – is that it is deliberately different. It’s so obtuse, so unconventional, that you haven’t seen much like it since then. The enemies are in these weird fuckin’ spots. The levels are these big, confusing, sprawling mazes with multi – million paths. You can’t really fly to the end of the level in ten seconds, like in Mario. Which makes those moments where you are just fucking gunning it that much more meaningful. A game like this comes along once in a lifetime. It’s the most graphics video game. It’s the most fastest video game. And if you say it’s not the best game evah made, then you da worst guy ever made. Abu. Now, this is the monkey from Aladdin. No. Abzu. Now, this is a game that should be played sitting back on a couch, drinkin’ a beer. It’s a very relaxing experience with a lot of emphasis on its visuals and music. If you enjoy games like Flower or Journey, definitely check this one out. I’m over here swimming with fuckin’ dolphins, with this majestic-ass music comin’ in, then, fuckin’ Morgan Freeman comes in. “New organisms flourished in the earth’s waters.” “Colonies of green algae produced more oxygen.” Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Now, wait, wai – [ pop ] This game’s multiplayer can only be described as the ultimate clusterfuck. You have commando knife. WHAT THE FU – Fifty killstreaks going off at the same time. Ya missed! Hahahaha! Never mind. You have the shittiest spawns ever made. Can’t believe people still play th – what the fuck? Are you serious? What the FUCK? The second I spawned, I ju – oh my god!
[ laughing ] You had a heartbeat sensor. You had akimbo shotguns that sniped people from across the entire map. But the reason this game is on my list is strictly for its single player campaign. The story is incredible. This terrorist guy shoots up a Russian airport, but he also shoots his own guy, who is actually an undercover CIA agent. So, Russia finds out that he’s American and invades the United States with helicopters. Okay? So you have to rescue Captain Price – he’s in Bane’s prison – so that he can shoot his way into a submarine to launch a nuclear warhead into outer space. Which, as you know, if he blows it up in outer space, it knocks all of the Russian helicopters out of the air. It’s all based on a true story. First off, this is the only Call of Duty game in color. You look at the other games, they’re just this desaturated mess of green and brown and grey. Then you got Modern Warfare 2 over here – bwaa! Enemies actually pop out of the environments. Instead of shooting little grey dots in the distance, you’re up in the terrorists’ grill, you know, shootin’ his DICK off. COD4 also had the brilliant idea to infinitely spawn enemies in every level. Whereas Modern Warfare 2, there’s always a finite amount of enemies in each zone. And the missions – oh, the missions! Back to back to back highlights. Right out the gate, you got Cliffhanger, sneakin’ into the secret base, takin’ out dudes with the silencer when Hans Zimmer comes in like… [ dramatic music ]
[ Dunkey singing along ] Robot and Crank is how you do a modern 3D platformer. It’s such a well-rounded game with a great sense of exploration and spectacle. But what really stood out to me were the weapons. You got Mr. Zurkon. “Mr. Zurkon is here to kill.” You got the Pixelizer. You got the Sheepinator. You got the Hydrodisplacer. “This ingenious device promised to move water from one place to the other!” AND You got the Disco Ball. Which you can throw down, and all the enemies just start dancin’. Even the fish. Even the sheep. Even a tank. Even the boss fights. Insomniac has reaffirmed themselves as one of the top names in video games right now, and I can’t wait to see what they do next. BATTLEBITCH is a MOBA fighting game. You don’t farm creeps, you don’t jerk dragon off for 20 minutes, you don’t push dumbass towers, you just get straight down to business. AND This guy has a fish for a weapon. Don’t kill him, don’t kill him. Wait, wait, wait. Hey, guy. Hey, guy. Hey.
[ other player laughing ] You’re outta here. [ both laughing ] It’s a very accessible game but there’s also this huge amount of depth and nuance to playing the characters, like lookie here – ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba Oh, he left! [ laughing ]
“He ran out!” There are two ways to launch a console. Like THIS: or like THIS. BOMP XBOX launched like this. [ One Final Effort playing ] Halo Combat Evolved is – [ music continues ] – one of the best si – [ music continues ] Good game. [ music continues ] Donkey Kong Country is my favorite Super Nintendo game. You play as a guy called Monkey Kong, whose grandpa gets kidnapped by a pirate crocodile. So, in order to save him, you have to jump on a bunch of beavers. It’s all based on a true story. Eventually, you encounter Lanky Kong’s uncle who’s addicted to crack. Of course, the platforming and the atmosphere are incredible here but what really sends this game over the top is the soundtrack. It sounds so different from any other game. It’s very quiet and understated, but still supremely catchy. [ Donkey Kong Country soundtracks playing ] [ One Final Effort from Halo playing ] When it comes to bein’ a good video game Donkey Kong Country is not monkeying around. [ gunshot ] Ori and the Blind Forest is about this white guy who gets wasted out of his mind and starts talkin’ to trees. [ trees start talking ] Then, a big black dude kidnaps him. This game boasts an enormous, beautifully hand-drawn world that is absolute joy to explore because of how agile and fluid the main character contols. This guy just effortlessly glides through the environment bouncing off the enemies and projectiles. It starts off slow, but once you get into it putting it down is nearly impossible. Winston’s Magic Castle is Blizzard’s best game since Warcraft 3. Goddamn! I just played this game to absolute-fuckin’-death last year. “Kill everybody!” “Kill them all. Aaaaaaand, he’s going the complete opposite way.” “There you go.” It’s such a polished game with so much of its own flavor and style that I don’t know who won’t enjoy this. My only gripe with the game is that some characters aren’t as exciting as others. You got Tracer over here zooming around the fucking map like a goddamn madman. Genji over here slashin’ through shit, deflecting bullets – and then we have D.VA: who is just the most boring piece of shit character ever made. “This probably won’t work.” “But maybe, it’ll work.” Oh my god, SHIT! [ chuckles ] I hope the team continues to expand and rebalance Overwatch because it’s one of the most exciting multiplayer games in years. [ drum roll ] These guys just spent six years on a three hour game. For what it’s worth, they’ve created something incredible. Inside tells one of the smartest, most compelling stories in a video game without a single line of dialogue. It leaves a lot to the imagination, but is bound together by a central theme of control and conformity. The images are striking and the world is littered with tons of little details you won’t pick up on in your first time through. The mysterious narrative continues to subvert what you think you know, as it ever patiently builds towards this eruptive ending. Can I talk about the ending real quick? Just hit the skip button if you don’t want me to ruin this for you, OK? All right, are… are they out? All right, here I go. HOOOOLY FUCKING SHIT This whole game I’ve been runnin’ around like a little pussy, and now look at me, motherfucker! I’m Godzilla! Get the fuck outta my way! Look guys, it’s MICHAEL SOFT CREATOR OF THE KINECT [ screaming ] Gotcha. This game speaks to me on a very real, and personal level, and delivers a strong, pointed message about individualism and self-worth. It’s a game that reflects the beauty of real life, and that every single person is special and unique even though we try to relate and sympathize with each other, the fact is we are all very, very different, and maybe we should spend less time worried of how the world perceivеs us and actually act on what we truly feel on the inside. [ sniffles ] Which is why – the actual Game of The Year IS KNACK 2, BABY! Just kidding, guys! FUCK YOU, Knack! SUPA MARIO BRUDDAS 2 WINS IT AGAIN BABY ONCE AGAIN BABY (I don’t even like it…) CHAMPION (…no more) ONCE AGAIN, MASTERP – (I don’t even fuckin’ like it no…) But Knack 3, though. That’s gonna be the one.