What is going on? Shhh….it’s the trade deadline This could be our ticket out of here Why would you want to leave? Aren’t we in line for the first pick? No, we’re not! Because that fool Billy King traded it to Boston a few years ago! What!? I know! They’re idiots– Der coming! Der coming! Back up, back up! Everybody back up! I’m sorry to announce… we have made a trade Oh yes oh yes Please please please Bojan Yeah You’re going to Washingfell Sorry Oh my god! They are like, uh… They have like…wins Yes Thirty-four wins, they have THIRTY-FOUR?! Oh man, that’s like so many wins! I know you’re disappointed, but… pack your bags They expect you there on the morrow Right. Right. Oh yeah I’m very sad This is so–I’m very sad but I’ll go pack now and fight all the tears Um…love all you guys! Thanks, uh, Lord Commander–ex-Lord Commander! Oh this is so sad! This is SO GOOD! OH I’M FREE! I’M FREE FROM THIS PIECE OF SHIT TEAM! THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! I DON’T HAVE TO BE IN STUPID BROOKLYN THIS IS THE DUMBEST PLACE WORST FRANCHISE EVER! MAN THESE GUYS ARE F– Any..uh…other trades to report? Or… No Dammit! Now, come on, it’s time to practice Tomorrow we lose to the Nuggets! Who goes there? House Magic! What are they doing here? We don’t play ‘em for a fortnight What do you want? We want to propose a trade! Well we don’t need a trade. We’re contenders! Oh come on now, you’re fifth in the East! You’re worse than the…Hawks right now! Don’t you want to compete with the Cavs? I mean, It’s true We could use, like, a power forward Well then do it! Do it! Do it! Well alright, whaddya got? Serge Ibaka! He shoots, dunks, and he’s an elite rim protector. He’s everything you need Isn’t that right Serge? I defend anyone Except LeBron Alright. Okay Well what do you want for him? DeMar DeRozan! No! He’s my friend! Argh. Very well Worth a shot Then give us… Norman Powell! No! He’s…too young! But I’m also your friend, right? Shush Norman! I’m trying to make a trade here! I am also his friend! Norman! Alright. Well then what else do you have to offer? We’ll give you… Can we trade Drake? I don’t think so. No What about Terrence? What about Terr– You can have Terrence Ross Well what does he do? He’s like… an older Norman No I’m not Terrence! You’ll like it in Orlando. It’s warm Let the man speak! Terrence, what do you do? Well, I’m a pretty good 3 and D player… Um… though some people might call me inconsistent… So maybe I’m not a good 3 and D player– No no no, you are! I AM a good 3 and D player OH! And a decorated dunker! Well he’s certainly inconsistent Throw in a draft pick and it’s a deal! A draft pi– Fine, but then you gotta give us somethin’ else too! Something else? Ugh Alright we’ll give you a choice You can either have…Mario Hezonja… Or…this horse Well what does Mario do? He scores three points a game And what does the horse do? It’s a f– it’s a horse! It walks around with people on it I don’t know…does horse things! That kid was the fifth pick in the draft. He’s probably got potential. Yeah but it’s a horse! It does horse things! We’ll take the horse!