Are you tired of horses in your living room? Oh my god, am I ever. Are you fed up with horses going through your pockets while you sleep or turning off your oven when you’re not looking? I have waited so long for someone to address this problem. Come home from work to find that horses have rearranged your drawers so that socks are now at the bottom? Yes! That one! That happens. Have you had it up to here with horses they keep flushing toilet? Or horses that take down your movie posters? Please tell me you have a solution for this. I’ve been watching TV for so long for a commercial that addresses my horse infestation! Horses?
Horses! Do you lose sleep because there are two or three horses making copies with your scanner? Yes! They used up all my toner! And do those horeses need those copies? No they’re not even copying paper they’re just tossing folded clothes on the scanner and pressing copy. Then they flush those copies down the toilet! Why do they do that? If you could name the number one reason why you keep finding empty soup cans in the freezer, it would be Horses. Especially the brown one, he loves throwing stuff in the freezer. And finally, have you ever caught a horse subscribing you to a magazine?! Ughh, yes I would do anything to solve this problem. So is it like a spray or a fence or something? No! We can’t help you get the horses out of your house! What?! Wait, what is this a commercial for? We’re a moving company! Mighty Movers is the solution for people who have too many horses in their house! We’ll pack up your stuff the move you to a home in icy, Northern Canada the only city that’s a full six nautical miles away from the nearest horse! Best of all, we’ll do it in 3 hours or less! The same amount of time it takes a horse to nap! They won’t even know you’re moving away!! Wait, you’re telling me that if I have a horse problem the only solution is to move? Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck these Horses! Mighty Movers!! Because nobody can figure out what to do about the horse problem!