Before we start, I gotta address the elephant in the room: some people are gonna say that this is low-hanging fruit… …and that I’m bullying people who like a show that are quote, “not hurting anyone”. Lemmie go and point out that this is literally the most requested I Don’t Know Anything About that I’ve ever had. Both people who adore the show and people avidly hate it have requested that I do this. If you have any complaints, feel free to leave them in the comments section. I’m honestly curious to see if the JoJo fandom or the MLP fandom is more toxic. Additionally, this video is NOT FOR KIDS. So if you’re the intended demographic to the show, girls around age five to ten, please do not watch this video. I’m a mean, bitter old, awful person. I should not be listened to. Parents, please be responsible and stop your kids from watching this video RIGHT NOW. ‘Kay? Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Okay, the kiddos are gone now, so I can curse like a fuckin’ sailor again. Although this series is called I Don’t Know Anything About, people still expect me to have some idea of what’s happening in whatever I’m covering. So I do attempt to glaze over some information, but for this show, I literally have no idea what’s going on. All I’ve seen is the Flash games and the awful rumors that we’ve all heard about online. I played some MLP Flash games explicitly for the sake of learning something about the basic characters and have some information for this video. Now I know that Frozen didn’t have a scene where Elsa was pregnant and needed a spa day. So I expect that Twilight Sparkle also doesn’t get pregnant at any point either. So this means that I had to actually look into the show a little bit more. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED. My Little Pony was a hit show in the late 80s which was later revived in 2010 with a completely different aesthetic. This show is meant to be a comedy fantasy show for children, so they can learn about emotions and how not to be a dick bag. People forget that we are not born with social skills. We slowly develop and learn them. That’s why preschoolers act like aliens from a different planet and why preschool teachers must act like ambassadors to these weird aliens. On Earth, it’s considered bad to eat glue. On Earth, it’s considered unacceptable to pull someone’s hair and yell at them as a form of greeting. On Earth, it’s considered rude to take things without asking. So shows like My Little Pony and Sesame Street are actually needed in order to help children learn how to grow up to not be maladjusted self-centered assholes. A quick reminder: please put any feedback in the comments section. I will promise I will totally read it and care about what you’re saying. But oddly enough, this show has developed a cult following amongst an older male demographic. The show has actually even made nods of approval to this fanbase. But for the actual premise of this show, it seems to be focused around a group of ponies with tramp stamps named… …Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Apple Jacks. So let’s break it down. Twilight Sparkle, I think is probably some sort of princess and wizard and is the most emotionally stunted… [slowed-down] BITCH …possible. Fluttershy is probably the pretty one. No one seems to give a fuck about her, so moving on. Pinkie Pie is the most disgusting group of words to ever cross my lips. Rarity is also one that no one seems to give a fuck about and… …Rainbow Dash is the scene kid that everybody loves and probably is the main protagonist. I once had a man explain to me how great she was over a game of Magic: The Gathering. And in response, I have actively avoided playing the game with strangers ever since. The conversation went like any conversation about someone’s waifu, in which they go on and on and on about something you don’t care about… …but somehow it’s considered inappropriate to them to say that you don’t give a fuck. Perhaps the worst part was that somehow this man was able to have a child with the woman he was sitting next to and explained how much he loved this cartoon horse. From a video made for a Mystery Skull song that I actually really like called ‘Money’… …I know that there’s another pony that’s a DJ, but I don’t know anything else about her and I think that’s the full extent of her character. Then we go into Applejack who appears to just be a hick, because we’ve gotta have one of those… And there’s also a dragon called Spike who appears just to be a complete… [slowed-down] DOUCHE BAG The show focuses on these characters as they solve problems with interpersonal and otherwise mundane with magic and friendship. I know there’s a larger dragon, which usually in kids cartoons indicates that they’re a villain, so I have to assume that they have some sort of antagonist as well. But it doesn’t seem to matter as much as what they do together. After a while, the show got a spinoff that turned the ponies into little girls, because that’s not a horrible choice, and continued to market this towards older men. Now this is where the video is supposed to end, but after writing all this out, I realized I have very little content to go on and I wasn’t really all that fair to the show. This is primarily why this video has been delayed for so long. I actually have no idea what it’s about. And unlike I Don’t Know Anything About JoJo, I haven’t actually watched the show either. So rather than shit on the community despite not knowing anything about it, why not go and find the people that actually like this show? I mean, I know personally that gamers get a lot of shit and maybe it’s just the same sort of situation… …that it’s a small group of awful people that give the entire group a bad rap. I don’t think anyone has a problem with little girls watching this show, but lots of people give bronies shit and possibly justifiably. So, I wanted to go where the bronies were and actually ask them about the show and ask them to explain it. Everything in this script before this point was something that I was able to gather before going into hell hole that is 4chan /MLP. [reading] “-cestuous Relationship Thread. Onii Chan Fables.” ‘Kay. Umm… [sucks air through teeth for several seconds] Woa-kay! Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright. Okay, let’s just uh, let’s just- let’s go and do what we’re here for and um… “Hey… everyone.” Uh, the images with grass. Does that count? Mean, it’s kinda hard to see. Okay. Seems fine. Uh, got this picture of The Fonz, so we’ll use it. Alright, cool. We’ve posted to, uh, My Little Pony. the fonz dot JPG has been uploaded, alright. And now we wait. Seems like it hasn’t been responded to, I believe everyone thinks I’m a troll… …which why you’d think I was a troll on 4chan, I don’t know why you would think that. Um… But it looks like I’m probably not gonna get a response… Umm, and… honestly, umm… [breathes in] Ooookaaay. We’re gonna stop looking at that. I mean, at least The Fonz believes in me. Uh, Henry Winkler is apparently the guy’s name. Uh, and he’s still alive. Ah, that’s good! He’s, he’s getting on in age, though. Um, so that’s probably why he’s not doing anything. He’s 70 years old, holy shit. Umm… Anyway… Back to this My Little Pony situation, I’m sorry. I’m sorry Henry Winkler for- for posting your face on… [breathes in] …uhh, My Little Pony boards. Umm… I’m trying- I’m trying to be a good person. By learning about a show. Uh, I don’t wanna read the incest or the slave shit. That’s not what I came here f- Aww nooo! Jesus Christ, don’t do that to me. Imma wait until this thread 404s. If there are a lot of jump cuts in this, it’s just because, like… there’s nothing going on. And I’m just waiting for this thread to be replied to. I wanna give them a shake at it, and… I didn’t wanna just say… that, um… They’re, they’re maladjusted people who just wanna fuck horses. Um, that seems unfair. Y’know? I figured I should actually go to the source… of where they are and- and ask… and- and- and- and… …then be proven wrong, and you know, and learn about- and learn about friendship or whatever the fuck, but… [whispering, while breathing in] Ohhh shit… Wait, oh, oh, oh, oh shit! Hold on. [reading] “Why don’t you think for one fucking second.” Okay. Umm… Okay, okay. We can reply to that. I mean, we’ve got a comment, so we’re fucking somewhere. We’ve been here for 18 minutes, but we got a comment… and, um, that- that means we can go somewhere with this. There have been so many shows about… friendship, and love, and caring. But why is this the one that everyone is attached to? Why is this the show? Cuz, like, y’know: Sesame Street, y’know? No one’s tryin’ to fuck Elmo, right? Fuck, there’s probably someone who’s put their dick in a Elmo puppet, isn’t there? Jesus Christ. I’m literally not trying to troll, I’m actually curious on why people watch the show. Y’know? Uh. If you love this show, that’s totally fine, you do you, whatever. But, y’know… It’s, it- I wanna know. Why the fuck does anyone watch this show, y’know? Did anyone actually care about the other characters on Happy Days? Like, name one other character that was on that show. Right? I watched a lot of Leave It to Beaver growing up. That kid was a bitch. Y’know? Like… seriously. What’s wrong with that kid? [singing quietly] # Sunday, Monday, Happy Days
Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days # Duh da da da, Happy Days
Duh duh da, buh ba ba # Duhdada da da da! # [continues mumbling the tune to Happy Days] What the fuck are the words to this song? [reading] “Happy Days. Sunday, Monday, Happy Days, Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days, Thursday, Friday, Happy Days…” “Saturday, what a day. Rockin all week with you.” What about- okay, no, Sunday was first, okay. “This day is ours.” “Won’t you be mine. (Oh Happy Days). This day is ours… (Oh Happy Days)” “Oh please be mine. Hello sunshine, goodbye rain. She’s wearing my high school ring on her chain.” “She’s my steady… I’m her man.” “I’m gonna love her… all I can.” Alright, well, I tried. I fuckin’ tried and… Now I cannot help but think that The Fonz… thinks less of me… for this. I feel like that was a massive waste of time but at least I did try to learn something rather than just go on the information that I had gathered from years of being on the Internet. It seems as if the show’s gone downhill since its original inception and the rabid community that used to exist is shrunk in size during that time. And while it remains a mystery to me and will remain so forever, it is important to notice that I did try. I fuckin’ tried, okay? As always: lemmie know how I did. Lemmie know what I got right, lemmie know what I got wrong… And lemmie know what you’d like me to cover in the future. I’m curious to know how close I got. I’m pretty sure I fucked this one up.