If These Games Scare You, You Have Low IQ
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If These Games Scare You, You Have Low IQ

August 17, 2019


spooky scary spooky scary top o’ the morning top o’ the morNING sPoOKY SCaRy scARY gAMes NnnooOOOWWWW Okay, guys. I’m going back in time. Help! Oh wait, no, I stopped. I’m just in 1917. That’s a great year to be in! If you.. um.. had Polio.. {boi what?} Did they have polio back then? I have no idea. All right, this game is called Under. Now, I don’t know what I’m under. Am I under the influence? Am I under the ocean? Am I under a blanket hiding from the monsters? We’re all gonna find out together. Let’s make a scare baby ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Ooh, this looks very pretty. Look at the texture ass texture! (゜-゜) Frickin walls got fingerprints! Oh man. I guess I am on a boat ’cause I control like one! *vomiting sound??* Do I have a reflection? No, but….shaaa! The lights are in my eyes! Hollywood, here I come baby! Can’t read anything.. T-this is how I tell you guys that I….I can’t read. “f deck mid- fuck deck” That’s not even a funny joke. Oh, long scary corridors, I don’t know if I like this.. It’s okay. Settle in. Feel the atmosphere. I can see in there hELlO?! Okay.. Ah, my biggest fan. Now, I can sprint.. but then I lose all the spooky scares. Lock-ed! They’re all locked. I’m assuming you mean that this one needs a key.. Oh God, I already had my dinner. I’m not hungry. Thanks. Very considerate of you though. Okay, lock-ed.. Who did that?.. ..fuck.. (゚д゚) ..Jesus! *chuckles* There was this thing, bashing into this shit, and even that scared me! I scared myself! (゚д゚;) ⁀⊙﹏☉⁀ Starting to head to the fuck deck. Oh, that’s really creepy sounding.. {Is that even grammaticaly correct?} “Dear Alice, today we went over the top. The joy is serenity of heaven wait on us Then, Alexander condemned us all. We will wait for him to pay his sins.” Okay. “Face the devil and he will flee from you.. Run from the devil, and you are his.” That’s all it takes. If the devil comes up in your face, you stare him down and you say, “Not today Satan!” {Not today, Satan!} It’s okay! That wasn’t actually the lights going off.. That was my character just going *blinks repetitively* a bunch of times. It’s a first-person game. They are ABUUUSING chromatic aberration in this game. Look at the picture on the- This, this.. Was pointing at my screen, like you can see my finger.. *chuckles* This picture right in front of you. Watch what happens when I go to the edge of the screen.. See that separation of the color gamut? That’s chromatic aberration. Some games use it really well, while some games ABSOLUTELY abuuuuse it. *panicky JSE* Okay, somebody just closed my piano. It’s fine, just fucking.. *ᕕ(◉Д◉ )ᕗ * *cries uncontrollably* This is silly, but I’m actually getting scared. uH oH.. Hello?! Oh no, my hips.. No one’s home! Fuck!.. What? I’ll stab you with this.. hypodermic needle. Can I leave? I can’t even get out, if I wanted to! It’s locked! Oh.. *malicious chuckle* I’m a sneaky little rap, man. Oh Jesus, the floor is lava!.. No, the f-floor is pure blood, or maybe it’s Ray Bennett.. Man, this looks gorgeous! ..I like the visu-als.. Hate what they represent though.. The inside of my underwear has this color going on. (why on earth did u mention that?) (ಥ_ʖಥ) (Uh oh) x1 (Uh oh) x2 (Uh oh) x3 Uh, I don’t like it!.. OH GOD!!1!! Holy fuck, he was HUGE! What a unit! :0 Oh, that was so creepy.. That was like, have any of you seen the Blair Witch Project remake? Ugh, Jesus.. *wendy williams kind of accent* my heart is gonna burst outta my chest. The 2016 Blair Witch movie, it’s not a great movie.. But the ending of it is fucking great. And the movie as a whole is not great, and it kind of destroys the Blair Witch kind of mystery, because it actually shows that the witch looks like.. ..God.. Oh god.. “Hell needs you.” “Traitor” “Coward.” nO, that’s Simba. “Oh, answer the call.. Why did you kill your comrades, Alexander?” Didn’t fucking knew who my comrades are.. I didn’t even know my name was Alexander! -__- “Our breath reeks of death.” God.. Oh god. Oh, Jesus Christ.. That was good. Oh. Can I have the gun?! Okay.. The gun would really help.. H-hi, hi, hi Slender Man!.. Alright wait.. He said to look at the devil. If you stared the devil down, he’ll go away- AHHH- DON’t STARE AT THE DEVIL DOWN!!1!! IDON’TKNOWWHEREIMGOINGNOW!! *relieved* Oh, he’s gone.. Jesus.. That was terrible advice! Don’t stare the devil down! Alright, this isn’t the one that’s Lockett wait, where was the door that was Lockett here? This is the problem of being scared and trying to retain information All information goes out of your head as soon as the scary man shows up Southern Pacific steamships always a delightful trip Heath so I’m assuming I’m oh fuck I’m assuming at all fuck was something him somebody who came back from the war? Okay, someone fell asleep at the piano, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. I Really want to go home I Thought war was held but no, this is Rob jesus fucking christ right stare him down big boy balls big boy balls You’re a freak, huh, huh? Did it oh, okay, okay. I’m back here now, okay. Um He vanished Let me back here, oh this little Heidi Does little hidey-hole Know that oh, I should have just become rat boy again. It’s maybe one true form. Oh, I’m being a slow boy These specular maps on the wall chefs kiss I’m getting slower. Oh, they just creeping on me. My knees don’t work like they used to Ed Sheeran was right Gwhat? GwhAT Up? GwAahT ye BOi Make it to the very END! Fine right there with his struggle. I can feel it God Something changed Okay Ookay All the way there buddy Okay?.. Now I’m just slow Oh is he down there Oh, oh no No, Papa Papa. No, I’ve been a good boy Papa Oh God Wah he so freaky. Am I just gonna die? Bawm Bawm UNDER I was under the impression, but this is a nice happy game Not a scared me pants game. Well, it could a good few scares out of me the game itself was kind of all over the place and I didn’t know what was going on or where I was going and what I was doing BUT I still had fun with it. So that’s all that matters Now if you don’t mind I have to go under for a second Oh Hey guys, I’m back. I just went downstairs to get a brand new coca-cola zero sugar. Same great coke taste with zero sugar The I can’t open it I relate very heavily to the name of this game because it’s called hollow head And that might open my nickname as a kid because everyone was like Is there anything between your ears because stuff would just go in and go straight back out? It’s just hollow in there. There’s nothing but let’s see what hollow head has to offer. What a horrible dream I can’t go back to sleep just yet Okay, I’ve been there buddy Just got back from LA and Jett lag is kicking my ass Gotten better at it though.
I woke up at- when to bed at like- 11 p.m. Woke up at 4:00 and then couldn’t get back to sleep and I lay in bed for three and a half hours trying That’s the story of my life Okay, can’t really read that It’s visual style is cool though. I picked this because not only was it Highly rated but also I really like the art style because it was done for a haunted ps1 game gem So it has a very old-school feel to it. I like old-school. Woo Lights, I will admit that. I thought that that was a note on the wall that I had to pick up the Look at the size of my wardrobe Wait look at the size of my door!
Did they build this in Minecraft?! ‘kay… Are those the neighbors I’m hearing? It’s a big-ass house Think I can hear someone’s voice in the vent Ooow really don’t like that Hey check behind the shower curtain Nobody should have a shower curtain in 2019 It’s either glass walls or if your shower does name enable that nothing get the floor wet. No shower curtains You have a shower curtain it means that you’re probably gonna die behind it Something smells terrible Oh.. There’s- there’s the culprit let it go take it out Okay, stinky smelly bag Don’t just hear someone’s voice in the vent.
I hear eVerYOnE’s voice in the vent Can I go back in? It says this is the exit God the voice and the vent is following me everywhere Papa? Is that you papa? Did you hear someone call for help sounds like it came from the garbage room better go downstairs to check it out uh-huh no, no If you hear a scream come from the garbage vent you call the police They’ll handle it. Let them die Okay.. ..Okay.. Oho That would be my reaction I want somebody in a horror movie to do that walking out the room Everything’s super tense lights going some one just goes ..Oho.. Alright, I need to gear myself up for this Don’t know where that flashlight came from but I need it right now this guy video games Oh, I hate it. Oh I HATE it let’s go upstairs first Who’s in there the she-devil the banshee Go go, I think it’s Lockett This is the right, okay. Why- why these vents everywhere??! Do I want to keep going? NO!>:( I already said this! Is a terrible idea You lie and I DIE! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?!?!?! Was that Super Meat Boy?? Jeepers! Do I have to go down into that door? Do I- do I- do I gotta? Do I hafta? Oh shitty Oh, it didn’t do it this time Uwaa! NO! *nervous chuckle* Is a different way? Oh Christ. Oh, it’s gonna be one of these Oh I hate this FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM THAT THING!! FREAK! JEZUS! Okay. Okay. Okay. You got me! You got me!
I actually am legitimately scared now FUCK OFF! Don’t know what it is, but it wants my ass The fuck… The fuck The fuck is in the air? THE FUCK there is white shit everywhere Oh my god going in circles This episode should just be called scared Irishman yells at video game Okay..okay Is there any rhyme or reason as to where I’m going? Jesus Christ! Oh! STOP IT!! FUCKING HELL Oh, now there’s creepy babies.. NO NO. Okay. I actually have goosebumps. “Down here”?
Okay, anything’s better than up here with meathead [Bless you] It’s fine, okay. This is good [Oho] I think I came in the wrong- wrong room “I caught him for you” “You can run… ..you can hide.. ..But it won’t stop.. till you kill the monster inside.” Okay, I think I just killed someone at the end. I aimed for meathead and I’m hoping that I got him Oh, sorry Hollow head That makes- that makes perfect sense now I told ya. I’m the actual hollow head Wait If you listen closely, you can hear what’s inside my brain See Nothing Okay. Just forget that ever happened Get it out Get it out There we go The game’s gone. Now, what was- what are we playing? *yawns* I drove a looong way To get away from that apartment That place was freaky You see that guy? And some other guy with a bag over his head I think he had trivia boy Either way. Now, I’m out here hiking I really just came here to get away from it all. Guys I’m sick of the- Conformity.. of Basic life The name of the game is conformity. Welcome. This one I left for last, because this one looked really damn promising As you can see already the visuals are really good. There’s a ghost in a rocking chair Is someone inside? But the- no, the visuals alone are worth the play I am the slowest man on earth though Was up Frank? Ya just out here ‘n the porch? Celebrating life It’s cold today It was cold yesterday. Was even colder today At least ya got ya firewood. I’m going head ‘n inside.
I’ll see you in there. Alright? WAUW These visuals are fuckin great! Oh flytraps *quite excited noises* I realized I sounded like Woody Woodpecker for a second Wait, I thought I closed the door Didn’t I?? oh, I don’t like that Okay.. This one’s got atmosphere for daays man I don’t like it! It’s making loud sounds! Ah.. The family Back in Mother Russia where everybody was from.. Accept I came from Alabama I didn’t go to no, Russia This place stinks Pickles and pickled eggs and… pickled testicles! You can pickle ANyThINgS these days Uncle Frank?.. Frank is that you? Are you outside? Come on in here give your- give your little nephew a hug I miss you I’m using a funny accent, because I like doing this voice and also to hide the- the shame of being scared Is it working? ~I have no reflection because I am a vampire~ Okay, yeah, probably best to keep the doors closed yeah, you never know who’s gonna be out there.
Uncle Frank will get ya Okay, I know that’s probably supposed to be the same character But I’m pretty sure that Michael Jordan playing basketball just ran through the house I actually am scared. I don’t like this at all O- okay? OH, the back of it is invisible! How- How do you even do that? How do you render a texture on one side, but not the other side? Okay.. Trick Learning for dummies and pros That’s me The- the dummy Also I like how it’s called: “Dogue”
as in like “Vogue for dogs See Now what you want to be doing is picking up that dear axe This axe is good for chopping wood Just pretend that someone’s head is made out of wood and then you can split his head open Everything will be real nice Wait Are those the- Is that the guy from the first game? Oh look at this creep It’s all connected He picked up the flashlight You picked up a flashlight Frank if you come up to me,
Imma flash you and not in the good way ..Howdy.. What’s going on in here? Y’all having some kind of slumber party? Ooh NOoohoho This is WAY worse! MUCH worse! “TV is truth” “Subject horror FPS kit version 1.4 description. Thanks for buying my kit and have fun.” What? “TV is truth.” It doesn’t say that on it Whatever.. Ladies There’s something freaking out over there. Maybe I’m freaking out. Are you-? Don’t freak out! Oh That’s not how a rocking chair works FRANK! You clipping through the floor OH SHI- FUUUUUUCK Okay That was- that was not Frank. That was Francesca She was screaming like the fucking wind Or as a cold wind Only ever seen it written down I’ve never heard someone speaking [wait what?..] Okay, you said the TV as truth Is.. is ball also life? Fucking wicked bitch of the West
is not gonna be in here. Is she? Okay.. OkAy… OKAY OKAY! COOL DOPE YEAH OKAY! OOKAAY!! HeAVy MetAL!! What?????? The fu- I think this is a classic case of Breaking and Entering I broke into someone’s house And then they just defended themselves. It’s really- I’m the bad guy That was like the episode of The Simpsons were Bart and Lisa come at each other And then one of them’s like: I’m just gonna keep kicking the air like this And if you walk into it, that’s your problem I’m just gonna keep swinging my fists in the air like this and if you get hit by them, that’s your fault That’s all they were doing And then they claimed self-defense. Well, I for one have been thoroughly spooked today I hope you have been spooked That last game had a lot of potential really great wonderful visuals lots of atmosphere But the scares were a little cheap There’s just something about the scares coming out of nowhere like that and just kind of surprise

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  1. Me realising the first game: (whispering to myself) 1917……World War 1? hmm….. On a boat…… WAIT. NO NO, NO, NO, NO! Jack! Think about it! What ship are you on?! Nooo!

  2. Me: making a salad
    Game: scares shit out of me
    Me: throws knife at nearest object

    Moral of the story kids don’t watch horror let’s plays with any sharp objects in your hands

  3. Jack: plays a horror game
    Also jack: i picked this because i think the texture is cool

    And jack says the texture on thus is awesome on every single game lol

  4. I love how he’s shocked that the floor is covered in blood, then he says “man, this looks gorgeous”

  5. OMG IM NOT JOKING AS THE GUY RAN OAST THE WINDOW IN THE KITCHEN SOMETHING HIT MINE.

    For CHRISTS SAKE JACK YOUVE SUMMONED A DEMON, no, even worse; AN ALABAMA DEMON

  6. Jack: "When the devil looks at you in the face, stare him down and say *NOT TODAY SATAN*"
    Me: wut? HELLLLLL NAHHHHHHHHH
    also me: maybe i should….
    Also jack: when sees devil goes to devil devil runs at him AAAAGAGAGAGAGAGAHHHHHHHH
    me watching this scene: AAHAHHAAHGAGHAHHGAGAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSGAHAHAHAHAHAHA starts laughing after screaming

  7. I was gotten 2x but the very last one wasn't one. I jumped because of the noise cues, the pic and the whadoosh-comin at ya in the last game … Trying not to spoil scares.

  8. I havent watched in a while… when did he stop saying punch that like button in the face like a boss? Bc the outro was my life and now I'm a.sad bean

  9. In the first game I cried because it was 4:00am and then in the last game I loved that accent that you did the cowboy one I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t cause my whole family is asleep and I’m not

  10. You know what I learned from Sean and Felix?
    Always have subtitles on. The editors are epic. They add Easter eggs, and sometimes even notes to the watchers!
    Not all the time, but a lot. Watch this vid with subtitles! Just do it!

  11. Weird Monster Granny Shows Up
    Jack: Ok! Ok! Ok! OK! Cool! Dope! Yeah! Ok! OK! HEAVY METAL!
    My Grandma Shows Up
    Me: AHHHHHHHHHH!

  12. I think Under might be reference to the titanic? That part where he can’t walk is the boat tilting and they would put those gates up to lock people in the lower decks.

  13. Hey i got you covered im working on a cheep movie and imma put someone in a room and says uh oh like you wanted on Omgpig my yt channle check it out it will be out in a month or to

  14. I’m only 2 minutes in and I’m terrified 😂 help

    (Edit: also, in case you’re fainthearted like me… just a warning, there’s a terrifying jump scare at 7:30)

  15. I love how he's like "1917, that's a great year to be in!" but civil war broke out in Ireland in 1916 and carried on for a while so like…no, not really lol

  16. ngl that zoom in on that military ghost picture fucking scared the shit out of me. I knew it looked familiar too but fucking fuck.

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