IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!! | Pony Island – Part 1
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IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER!! | Pony Island – Part 1

November 19, 2019


Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to pony island. Now don’t be deceived the childish demeanour just hides a darker demon lurking within. The same demon that wants to burst out of our chest and consume us from within and then destroy our entire town and family and society as a whole and will corrupt all of our politicians and everyone in power. Anyway, now that I’ve shut up properly welcome to pony island a game that is deceiving and has nothing to do with any kind of tiny pony and no-one cares who owns them. This is a different type of game. One that is made by Systemtech Incorporated If I can talk properly we’re going to get through this video just fine. Ok, so… Ooh. Aah. I thought this was another menu, but I’m keen on your secrets. I haven’t seen this game before what is that? I wanna free… ticket. Hell, yeah! Ooh. That is weird. That was a realistic hand in front of my face. I mean I’ve got a realistic hand here, but I’m not sure what this is supposed to be! Advanced RN… Ah. I cannot turn of the cheerful facade. Anti-aliasing. Fix start menu. Ooh. Ah. I fixed the start menu but broke this options menu. I am boned. Okay, no more in-app purchases. Oh, God. Obscure options. Ohh, God. So, I can’t turn that off. Oh, but I can put that – Ahh! Thats much better. Alright, oh their eyes are open now. They see everything. Let’s get goo – uh. Okay, like I said I’ve never seen this game, I just know from the trailer on Steam that it gets weird… But this is getting weirder than I thought it would. Ah, Eh… Huddu, huddu, Uh, what is this supposed to be? Boink? Boopedy-boop? Oh! Something’s not right here. Oh! Now we get to load the game maybe. Huh. Uh. I wonder if eventually the screen’s just gonna go reflective black and I’m gonna see my docile face staring back at me from in front of my – Get out of the way of the loading bar. I’m trying to make a stupid joke. Ah. Oh, that’s not gonna work, but if I d – ahh! Yeah! Okay! Now we’re making progress! Okay! – oh. You just had to fix it, didn’t you. I don’t… It was going to work. I tested it 1000 times. It’s almost time to play. Okay. Welcome to pony island. Y – see – you’re givin’ me mixed signals here, I thought you were mad at me for fixing it but now you seem to – ooh Is that a button background? Oh – ah – ah shit Am I supposed to be – Well that doesn’t seem to be natural. Is that the *unintelligible* Oh! The articulation physics don’t seem to be properly calibrated. Hey! Ah! So far so fancy and free! I feel fine. Oh, boy. I love this already by the way. I must say – Oh, it’s a mario flag! Ooh! I got huge success! I’m blasting through the levels! How many levels am I gonna get? I get so good! I give that two thumbs right up the bum. I did wonderful, I think. I’m just gonna continue when it gets to 69. That’s my favourite number. Ha-boink! Okay. Ah. Ah. I’m a little lost but, number 1: love this whole style, of like alternate reality game or augmented reality game thing going on here, kinda a meta scenario with the realistic person outside playing. Oh. I did not jump as high at that last one. Ooh! Yeah, man! Okay, so maybe I gotta… maybe I gotta wait until it goes to number 100 and in the meantime I just get to bask in the glory of my own success. Oh, yes! Keep your adoration and praise of me in the comments down below! We’re almost there! Oh! I saw you over there! What’s that? Ooh! Oh, okay. Ahahahahaha. Haha. I’m gonna get all the tickets. Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah! Get that realistic hand in there! Oh, yeah! Okay, int overflow error. Experience the rest of pony island. Insert your soul to continue. Breeeeegh. Pay wall, null soul, check soul, validate soul soul required. Hoo, okay. Well. Maybe I need to do a little bit of this. And this, and this… And then I won’t have to pay my soul! Nice. Nice. Do not proceed. Hell yeah. Aah! Did I broke it? I have a horrible habit of breaking games following into this one. Hello? Hello? Hello? That didn’t seem to be doing nothing. Bam, okay, ooh! Hello! Missingno? Is that you mewto? Uh, Pony Galaxy? Ooh, yes please. Weee! Why am I playing pony galaxy? Oh, joyous, ah shit. I’m terrible at this This is so weird. It’s games within games within games within games. Why are we playing so many goddamn games? I bet if I get another high score on this I’m going to get another ticket, but I don’t have nearly enough information. I have been trapped in this game for what feels like an eternity, endless playing help endless testing I am level 781092. Remember that number. 781092. Write that down for me. Type it in the comments below. 781092. I’m trying to piece together something for you, but this is just a little bizarre. No. Oh! Oh, I see! T .. icket.. Aha! Ahaha! Haha! Oh. What was that? Hello? Hello? Hello! My prayers are answered. Hello. How are… Who are you? How are you? Hello… I didn’t mean to do that. I am a prisoner of this machine. So am I! I do not want you to panic, but it is possible that we may share the same fate. Oh noes! I have a plan but I do not have the means to execute it. You must help me Will you help me? Yes! What was that? Ohh I… I don’t know. Oh! Hi! Hell… Hello… Hello? Huh? You must feel good about yourself. You hacked your way out of pony island. Oh I don’t know. The positive feedback loop for completing mundane jumping tasks wasn’t engaging enough for you. No, I’m a a pro gamer. Let’s see. 1 U, copyright at I F hashtag r You just had to. What? Regardless, don’t message anyone else on here. Now my plan. There are 2 core program files that this entire operating system depends on. Deleting a single one will lessen the power that he wields. But we must delete all 3 to truly escape. Do you understand me? No! Ah! Who are you talking to? I dunno! Uhhh… Yes. No you,. You are so arrogant. I have been making changes to pony island. We will see what you think of it this time. I asked you not to talk to him. H, h, ah, jeez. Okay. You are mine now. Say yes master. No fucko. Woah, hey, I’m typing fucko here. I’m 100%. F-U-C-K-O. Alright, fine then, I’ll play your game. You rouge. You fucko rogue. We will see if you’re too good for my game this time. We will see. I’m not doing that. Hands are up here. Thumbs up the bum, as per usual. Okay. Hooray! Ooh. Aah! Good, a pentagram. Systemtech incorporated. Satantech, I see that! Okay, satantech. Okay. Oh, they’re crying zeroes and ones. Ooh noo. What’s this? Aah. I know… oh. Oh, i juust had it! It was juust in my brain! It was juust in my brain! Ah, man, why didn’t I take a picture of that? I didn’t think it’d be too much. 781, 781, 092 Ah, okay, So that’s not correct though, that doesn’t go there. Let’s go to – ooh, okay. Options. Oh, hey! Hi! Oh… This looks like some codey-code. I don’t know how to solve this. There seems to be a problem here. diddlediddlediddlediddlediddle – doink! Then a doinky, and then a doinky. Hieh, Hell, yeah! Gimme that ticket! Gimme that ticket baby! I don’t know what these tickets do, but I’m getting a whole hell of a lot of them. Alright, let’s go into this game, see what this guy wants, improved loading times. Nice! You thought it was too easy. What do you think now? Oh. Err… I… So I can’t jump high… Or they’ll ge- Hamma, Hamma, Maa My game is challenging but fair. Come back when yoo yoo improo Okay, I don’t know about that. Okay, Anti-aliasing. Well, shit dicks. Uh, put it back, put it back! Okay, cheerful facade… Well, that’s broke. Let’s see – advanced RNG – Oh, boy. Are all these – Oh, that’s just gone now! Okay. Ah, okay. So I need to spell out Advanced… Options! Nice! Advanced audio. Hell, yeah! Oj, jeez. Can’t turn down the ominous humming. Now what you do? Oh! I blew up the heart! Why did I have to blow up the heart? I got another ticket though! Good for me! Advanced gameplay, old prototype options. Ooh, pony blades. Okay. Unlimited – Free will! Gimme that free will! Oh, no! Woah. Wha – Ah, shit. So it’s a poozle. Ah, okay. Oh, okay. Really useless. Ah. Oh! Ee, ooh. Cheater. Nuh-uh-uh! I won’t let you cheat – Aw, come on man! It’s not cheating! Ooh, what’s that? Ooh, okay. How’m I gonna… Not gonna be enough. Yeah, that’s not enough. Oh, shit I need more. Err… Oh, it stops! Oh. Well the carry on, I… Hehehe, he, he, he I beat your system bruh! I beat your system! Yeah, gimme that! Gimme that. I want it. I want it, I want it. I want it, I want it, I want it so badly! Trying to click on it! I want it so badly! It’s impossible! Oh, aah! Ahh, okay. Alright. Okay. Okay, so I gotta do this one now. Boink. See then… Down. Try some of this shit! Boink, and okay. And then… Make that shit nice and bigger! Boink, and then another point here! Ah, okay, I got it. This don’t look good. Okay. Over here. Then over there. Go with this for now. Boink. Okay, doink, doink. Doink. Oop. Okay, doink. Right, then a lefty-loo. *hums* Yes! Gimme them pony lasers! Oohoo! Braagh! Oh, Jeesum. Holy shit! I love that. Go back in and turn that off. You can’t play with that. Security settings. Parental. Allowed to die on Earth. No. Maybe. I don’t. I don’t know what this number mean. Ooh, hey. Hello. How are you? So am I! Oh, that’s me. It’s me! Ah, okay. Code sto-ooh. Just take 1? I don’t know what this is! Are these game codes for Steam? I don’t know. I don’t know! I don’t know!! Okay. I’m gonna go now. Alright. Cool. Alright. Let’s try this. Aargh! Heh heh heh. Blaaaargh! Yee! Oh, man. Now my pony’s getting too powerful for you! So powerful it’s gonna lag the computer. You want some more? Waah. I’ve got some very bright laser blasts. Oh, ticket. Blaargh. Oh god, I don’t even need my hands to play. Bwaargh. Boink. Ah, easy-peasy. Ergh. Okay, cool! Not exactly cheating, I’d say. Jeez, more. Is that a meter on my body that says how much laser potential I got? Cos I got a lot of laser in me, I just gotta channel it out. Just don’t make me fire my rear laser. Because that’s the one that really does the damage. I hope this is hurting you in some way. Although that does sound like a malicious thing to say now that I say it out loud. You cheater. Oh. Er… I made it in? It seems he is distracted… This is our chance. Oh. I don’t know if I trust you! That portal will take us to a core file. Oh. I didn’t read the rest of it, I just trusted you and dove right in! This is it. This is the core file That looks like a Daemon over there. It’s a kind of defence that he set up to guard the file. Shouldn’t be a problem since it’s locked up. Strange. Let’s unlock it! How do we unlock it? Game, do that. Oh, ah, ernghhh… Azazel? Azazel logic? I don’t know if I like Azazel logic… Hello. How are you? Uhu. Yeah, kinda a little bit. I mean I don’t want to say anything about your stupid game and your stupid way of life and your stupid existence in this stupid computer and the fact that you’re stupid. But I thought it might’ve been a little easy. I’ll get you. I’ll get you. Four house. Dollar sin. Lets see. What is it? Hey! Hey, wait a minute… Hey, wait a minute… I’m fighting a battle here! Well I see how this is. Aha! You lose, stupid! Dummy! Child’s play. I gotta beat you. Idiot. You’ll not break another… I don’t now about that. Let’s fight you. Come on. Come on, what you got? Ooh. Aah. I see. Scheisse. I need this here. Ah, okay, so we’re playing a – Aah! So we’re playing a clever rouse. I definitely need this one here. Ooh. You sassy. Ahaha. Ah. Ha. I win! I win! I win! I’m a winner. I’m a winner. I’m a winner. I win. I’m a winner. Oh, my mum would be so proud of me. Mum, if you’re watching this, hi! Are you proud of me? Text me if you’re proud of me! Everybody in the comments just ignore this conversation. I am the greater mind. I dunno, I beat you twice now. Alright, lets try this again. You have to go here. Nice, I needed that, thank you. I actually did. Boink. Well, let’s move that there. Yeah. Nah, nah, I don’t like that! Nah, I don’t think that belongs there! Definitely need that one there. Okay. I need that one there. Perfect, okay, you’re doing me a great service. Put that one over there. Okay. Easy-peezy lemon-squeezy. Nice. Nice. Nice. And, I win. I win! I win! I’m the greatest that ever was. I know exactly how to play this game that I’ve never played before. What are you doing? I will not fail my master! You mean Mr. Fucko over there? You mean Mr. uh doesn’t know how to type? He’s a, he’s a uhghhh He’s a bit of an uhghhh. What does, ooh, Those are things that cannot move. Aah. So I’m gonna put the dump ones right here. Oh, I needed that! You ass. Ass. Nice. I’m going to move this into the non-movable. Good one, but not quite! If you wanted to be not a dick then maybe you shouldn’t have been ma-margh. And bang, boom, bang boom, bang boom. I know how to beat you Azuzle. Is it really how you’re programmed to be that much suck and death? Cool! Your prophet is false! I don’t know about that, you’re literally a demon. I don’t know what could be worse. Plus, I’m pretty sure I could just wal- oh, oh, oh You have been deceived. I’m actually willing to bet that he’s not lying about that. Whoever’s talking to me probably wants to take over pony island, and there’s something else going on here. I’m just a guy who walked up to a really funky arcade. Oh, is this where I can see my reflection in the mirror? Ooh, satantech! Cool. Ah, core file missing! Cool, okay. So I’m going to leave this episode here, I’m going to do a full play-through of this game because this game is phenomenally interesting, so thank you everybody for watching, let me know what you thought of it down in the comments below, And as always, I will see you in the next video! Byebye!

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  1. im pretty sure the colors of the demon's text (cyan, red) was made unintentionally, but since this game was released in 2016 and the new darkiplier was introduced a year after i am still theorizing that this video may link to dark

  2. Game:Insert Your Soul
    Me:Yeah No I already Sold my soul to The Purple Guy,The Devil, Vault Tech and any other Unholy Spirit
    Game:THE POWER OF CHRIST DIVERTS YOU!!!

  3. Get game theory and Matt Pat to do this then I’ll be happy if its not in video on this I will not be happy 6335 means yeet

  4. I have a horror story for you mark,so I was playing on my computer doing my files and it glitched,I fixed my computer it did not work,and all of it said jdbjcbcjducgfjdbkdbdjsgsjgsjsvjgcjgfjfgfjvfjdbakahjcvdjdvdjvdjdvdjvdjhelpmehelpmejbnbcjcbjcbdjdbcjbcjd66666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666

  5. Game:Type in "yes master"
    Me:Uh oh the creator of porn hub is texting me again let me just type in no fu-
    Game:[ makes me type in "yes master ]
    Me: ( Chuckles ) I'm in danger

  6. Imma firin mah lazarr is an ending in a heist with markiplier go sewer light tunnel wait row home find shelter then make markimoo sit in the seat I think that ending is a callback to this episode

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