Intellectually Disabled Horses – Horse Racing Game
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Intellectually Disabled Horses – Horse Racing Game

August 15, 2019


I’m Jack AlphaSystem, and I’m addicted to intellectually disabled horse racing [music] so it all started with this Facebook ad real time multiplayer horse racing game breed, race and bet oof, got my interest so I immediately jumped on to twitter and asked them are you saying that I can breed retarded inbred horses and then race them against other people? potentially inbred, yes race against other people? Yes. intellectually disabled is a bit harsh though #pixelpoineshavefeelingstoo I can see that they uh are a little bit upset about me calling there horses retarded but how about I leave it up to you guys to decide vote now… is this a retarded horse? now they give you a horse straight off the bat and you’re able to not only name your horse you can pick what colors this horse is yeah just making it all white just felt right I dunno just like it was the right color or something and of course I had to give my horse just uh a really alpha name and I thought whats more alpha than just a giant 8—D as a name [horse noises ya know?] come on come on go go go go come on come on yes yes stay in front no no, not the black one anyone but the black horse noo no not the black horse come on at least beat lingering kryptonite you can do that yeah aww nooo no no come on not the brown horse NOT THE BROWN HORSE Darn it! God damn piece of shit now I had lost a fair amount of money by this point and I figured I needed a bit more of a strategy to what I was doing so of course I headed down to EB games and uh had a look for a strategy book hey uh excuse me would you happen to have a game called uh hooves of fire? “uh hooves of what?” it’s like uh game where you race retarded horses “oh ok well lemme check on the computer for you mate” “Hooves.. What platform would that be on?” uh PC and have you got a strategy guide for it that would be mint “aww sadly mate I do not have any hooves of fire man I can only recommend you possibly grab some steam cards” “hi place your order please” hey do you have a strategy guide for hooves of fire? “for what sorry?” hooves of fire “um I’m not sure sorry” oh… alright. so I started thinking there are pay to win horses and there are free to play horses and it’s quiet easy to tell the difference so of course I figured that would be the winning strategy picked out the glowing horse and threw all my money at it [horse noises ya know?] and that didn’t work either so I went back on twitter and I asked the creators of the game hey, my horse my horse got out of its stable and ate my wallet can I please have more money? and they replied with have you tried making friends? if you brush their horses you will make more money well unfortunately all my attempts to make friends in this game didn’t end quiet well now there is not moral to this story the whole reason I’m making this video is because I need you to go and sign up for this game and add me on there just let me brush your horses god damn it anyway thanks for all the support you guys have been leaving in the comments it’s really encouraging me to keep making quality content hey and seriously if you like the video subscribe! its free dude and it makes me feel good anyway, later, bye! oh hey guys its Jack Alphasystem here I’m playing the new pokemon go hell yeah lets go find some pokemon [birds screeching] [screaming]

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  1. You won't find the Strategy Guide at EB Games but you can get it online FOR FREE! here: http://www.hoovesoffirewiki.com/strategy-guide/

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