Here we have a young lady who refuses to be bipedal. Most of us are happy that we evolved to walk upright, but she’s like “nah, I don’t want my arms just dangling, I don’t want them slightly swinging. Arms deserve more than that.” Look at her trotting. Those are silky smooth trotting skills. And she can fucken gallop! She’s a majestic wild stallion. If she was in the Melbourne Cup I would definitely put her in a trifecta. What’s that? There’s a picnic table in my way? No worries. I bloody bound over that and keep going about me business. If she doesn’t wanna do outright competitive horse racing, which is fair enough, no one wants a small bloke with a whip sitting on ya back, she could get into show jumping and other equestrian events. Yeah, this could be the making of a Tokyo 2020 Olympian. Unless there’s a bullshit rule against this. Like, some old official says “you’re not a horse, you’re a human.” That would be bullshit. There’s no room in the world for people being Horsist towards Norwegian teenage girls. Just accept that she’s a horse and get on with ya own life. What’s that? There’s a wooden pallet from Dad’s warehouse in my way? No worries. Bing bada boom. Some kind of cage for grass. Too easy. I wanna be clear, I am supportive of this hobby, but fuck me, if you were stumbling home drunk at 2am, and you saw her quietly jog around a corner like this, you’d shit ya pants. Aw that was huge. I hope the military doesn’t get hold of her. You know somewhere, in one of the powerful countries, there’s a war mongering fuck-knuckle that wants to weaponise her. There’s a megalomaniac somewhere that wants to build an army of Norwegian Horse Girls. I don’t think she should fight for any one country. She should be like an Avenger and defend Earth as a whole. Fuck yes, Horse Girl, fuck yes.