PSA to all Husbands: Why You Aren’t Getting That Pony Ride | #MOMTRUTHS
Articles Blog

PSA to all Husbands: Why You Aren’t Getting That Pony Ride | #MOMTRUTHS

November 20, 2019


It’s a #MOMTRUTH Friday! Is this supposed to be for moms so we can relate? Or maybe so that they can share with
their partners to get a little insight? I feel like it’s our job to share why your
pony’s not getting a ride, gentlemen. And why your Johnson’s not getting the
southern comfort that it used to. And why when we see it coming we most definitely turn a blind eye. We don’t want that one-eyed snake near us. Why are men so shocked? I know you put a ring on it and you’re all like “let’s do it! It’s like sex for life!” But you want to pretend that I didn’t shoot babies out of that thing? Now let me tell you, there’s a few
reasons why the shop is closed for a little bit. It’s like how people have
intermittent fasting, this is intermitting… Back in the day when we used to just have to worry about waking up, going to some bangin’ job downtown, and talking to adults… Maybe, underneath that work outfit, I had a little surprise waiting that I couldn’t wait to show you. Like a little lacy thong. Now? When you come home do you know what’s underneath? It’s my nursing bra! Big. Giant. Huge. Cotton bras. Because if we don’t put these on, our nipples are gonna be hanging on the ground! They actually hit our legs and it hurts! They bump our knees! I don’t really want you sucking on them anymore! Your panties look like this because you
gotta go over the mum-tum. If not, your bums hungry. The bigger the better for moms. There’s a lot that happens down there that you don’t know about so to get sexy with granny panties, not happening! These are comfy and I’m looking for comfort to make it through the day. What used to be for your viewing
pleasure and used to be your fun ride, now, these are restaurants. You know what
happened to my body all day? Someone was either in me, on me,
or around me. Touching me. Grabbing me. Pushing me. Punching me. Asking me. Tugging me. Barfing on me. Peeing on me. And, quite literally, throwing stuff on me. You walk in the door and I’m all ready to jump? Not ready to jump! Not to mention if I happen to have showered and blow-dried my hair, I’m not interested in getting it messy! I just got clean I haven’t had a shower and God knows how long and now I’m gonna have a shower to get dirty? Nuh-uh! I want to be cozy and sleep. Another reason why us moms are just really having a hard time jumping back on the saddle is because what goes on in our heads all day long. Dudes, listen up. Here’s what
we’re gonna say: the challenge of keeping people alive, fed, forms filled, you’re their emotional parachute. It’s clear that you’re able to just turn it all off and turn on the porn, but for us we can’t stop this. We don’t think with our lady bits.
You maybe want to ride on the lady bit train then what you need to do is… Pet my feelings, my heart, and my brain. I want to know why I’m great. Not why my
vagina’s great. Cuz we know you love that. Why am I great? We know it sounds complicated. We get it.
Just try to understand. The pony is not broken. It’s just, these beautiful children we birthed for you, that we asked for for life, and that we fornicated for a lot to get, they beat a lot out of us. Happy #MOMTRUTH Friday. Let your partner’s know the pony ride
is a hard one for us. Not that we don’t want to jump on that pony though. Like, share, and subscribe.
Let us know if you’re on the pony.

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Bahahahaha πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸΌ absolutely πŸ’―

  2. I literally just spit out my coffee! You are speaking my truth!!!!!!!! Ps I will now sing that song the rest of today πŸ˜‚

  3. Cause at the end of the day after dealing with the little darlings, not showering, no makeup, stressed and bitchy, you have a hand for a reason babe

  4. #TRUTH I haven't birthed any kids, but I help take care of my niece and 4 nephews. Ranging from 8 months to 16.! I get up at the crack of dawn and get them all up and ready for school, bags packed etc. I've generally been spit up on at least 3 times before 8am. The last thing I want when I do see my husband is for him to tell me he's got a present for me in his pants! Just give me a hug and tell me I did good keeping them alive for another day.

  5. I'm happy to say my husband is very giving so denying him is hard to do. I'm happy to say we have phenomenal intemisy 😊

  6. OMG dying!!! πŸ˜‚ You guys are the best! Aint't no pony rides here, I'm on a BREAK! Happy Friday and weekend, mamas 😘

  7. Love it. Hubby and my drive are at times total opposite. When I want it he's past out on the couch. Plus we have a newborn so it excites me that I still have feeling down there. After 4 kids from me and 7 altogether anything goes.

  8. Not to mention that the only time to do it is during naptime and only one of us is terrified of the three year old either hearing or walking in on it happening. Nobody gots the energy for the nasty at night! Let's just chill in bed and watch Stranger Things πŸŽ‰πŸŽŠβ€οΈ

  9. Lol, I guess that's why this is called comedy… in reality it's supposed to be a two way street, but the joke is you can show more affection and attention, and there's still no change in pony ride frequency.

  10. You literally said everything Im going through right now so I sent this to my husband LMAO!!! Poor thing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  11. y'all crack me up! i don't know how y'all come up with this stuff. but it's so true! do your husbands ever see these? if so they have to be amazing husbands!

  12. Man, I'm glad I'm not married to these things… Sounds like you two weren't mentally and emotionally prepared to have and raise human beings. You know who else had low libido do to constant thinking? Nikola Telsa, but at least he made contributions to society.

  13. I used to want it… NEED IT…. while Aunt Flow had reared her ugly head (because that meant I was deprived while I couldn't have it). And then I had my kid, and now I just feel that it's an additional thing that happens during the day. Hopefully my hubby doesn't get annoyed if I show him this video 🀣

  14. Haha so true πŸ™‚ Young Fella's got no idea, try and tell them and they won't listen. Poor suckers when we are young and in love…. and it doesn't change not even after 25yrs…

  15. What a bunch of excuses from middle aged women… this is why men step out of their relationships πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™‚οΈ

  16. I just showed this to my hubby and his response "I don't need you clean. That logic is flawed. I should make a rebuttal video." Hahahaha!

  17. U guys r bloody hysterical!!! I wished you lived in my neighbourhood in down town Brisbane Australia!!!…….we would def have drinks ……

  18. Very funny video. But just remember when your youngest is 9 and makes their own breakfast and packs their own lunch and is nearly self sufficient you will need to update the hilarious reasons you aren't interested.

  19. Omg!!! The opening remarks are so true… we really have dirty jobs all day we really don't need whip cream to top everything else off πŸ˜‰

  20. But I'm gonna turn this franchise around ladies. Your channel is like inside trading. I got information and that's the greatest Commodity there is. The student is ready to learn preach it sisters. We're gonna get those Granny panties thrown away straight in a trash can where they belong lol. Maybe I can just start collecting them and make them disappear.

  21. So…….In a nutshell…..they're justifying being frigid and celibate, while finding it hilarious why they are denying intimacy to their men. That's the fast track to divorce…….

  22. A lot of butt hurt boys in this comment section. Lol…until you actually have to experience what the body goes through after having babies, your opinion doesn't mean shit.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *