Articles

Stuff Riders Say to Non-Riders

September 1, 2019


SARAH: Yeah, I’m still at the barn. It’s probably going to be another couple hours
cause I’m waiting for the farrier. Uh, blacksmith? The guy who does her feet? Yes. She gets her feet done. Every four weeks. Oh. You were serious about wanting to ride
him? Hey, Grandma. Yes, I’m still doing “that horse thing.” No, this one is a bridle. This one is a halter. It wasn’t that expensive. But this bit is totally different than the
other ones I have. Can you hand me the martingale? No… Nope… No, it’s like the circle… and has like the strap… No… Don’t worry about it. No. Nope. Not really. Sometimes, but not like you’re imagining. Well…sort of. No, I didn’t know that your boss’s daughter
rides. No, I’ve never heard of that barn, but I’ve
never ridden in Wyoming. No, he’s actually grey. Green just means,
like, he’s still learning. No, he’s not going to bite you. Probably. Okay, just keep your hand like really flat. Okay, just keep the treat in your palm, ok? Cause otherwise he might think your fingers
are the carrot. Horse poop isn’t gross. It’s not like dog
poop. It’s fine. No, it’s not like actual hands. It’s just
like 4-inch increments. Like, a hand. It’s in the tack room. Just don’t walk right
behind him, ok? Just don’t walk behind him, ok? Just be careful not to go near his bum. Not behind the horse, guys! No, that movie is actually really inaccurate. No, lame means like sore or unsound. Not uncool. No, he’s not a stallion. Yes, she’s a girl. They’re called mares. No, he’s not a mustang. I don’t think any
of the horses here are. No, it’s very different than the Budweiser
Clydesdales, actually. No, this smells fine. No, I’m not going to make it to the party.
I have a horse show early on Saturday. So you see how like when he’s going and he’s
on his left lead. And then he changes and he’s on his right lead. Like it’s the leg
that’s in front. She’s fine. That was just a sigh. No, it’s not my mortgage. It’s my board bill. Fox hunting is actually like a totally different
thing. No. I don’t do rodeos, but some people definitely
do. No, not like a jockey. At all, actually. So Dressage is like a type of English riding.
But there is no Eastern riding. No, he’s actually 12. He’s just a pony. Baby
horses are totally different. Let me show you. Well, don’t do that when I bring him out,
though. That will scare him. He does not like that. Yeah, I just got to the barn so I’ll be out
later. No. Bar-n. Not bar. It’s 9 AM! No, smaller does not mean safer. Trust me. Yeah, I can stop by after I ride Playboy. Playboy is my horse. Don’t be gross.

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