The Rabbit That Can Pleasure A Lion | Barbaric Tales From The Serengeti
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The Rabbit That Can Pleasure A Lion | Barbaric Tales From The Serengeti

October 6, 2019


INSECTS CHIRP GRUNTING Oh, by the way, I invited Peter
and Jenny Leopard over for dinner next week. So remind me we need to get
a nice fat zebra or something. I can’t stand them, really. He is a huge bore
and she is a gossipy old bitch, but they did invite us
around for wildebeest last year, so I thought we’d better get… Look, darling, could you not
discuss our social calendar while we are in flagrante? Sorry. It puts one
off one’s stroke somewhat. We’re on the home straight. HE GRUNTS Marvellous! Right, I’m going to lie under
that tree for 12 hours. Be a good girl and
rustle up some nosh for later. Got you! Argh!
Hm. Not much meat on you. But you’ll do as a starter.
Oh, please don’t eat me. Give me one good reason why not. I can make you come. What?! I just saw you were having
cold, mechanical sex over there. You were spying on us? You were doing it in a wide open
space in broad daylight, and I was thinking that that lady
needs pleasuring, and I can do it for you. I’m a very sensual animal. I’m an expert practitioner
in the erotic arts. I guarantee I’ll leave you soaring to previously undreamt of heights
of sexual ecstasy. Hmm. OK, let’s go behind
those rocks over there. And if I’m not soaring in
five minutes, you’re a snack. Jesus! No pressure, then. SQUEAKING Come on, baby! You’re getting all seven-eighths
of an inch right now! Right up to the bunny balls. Have you started yet? Hmm, OK… This calls for something
a little bit more classical, if you know what I mean. Ooh. RATTLING Oh!
Is that working for you, madam? Yeah? Ooh! Ooh, yes. Yes. I think I’m going to… Yoo-hoo! Claire!
Oh, my God, it’s Jenny Leopard. CLANG!
Argh! Get out of here quick! I can’t. You’ve tightened up around
my paw like a fucking vice! What are you up to over there?
Oh, Christ, this is painful. Get out of here.
I can’t! You have to relax. I can’t! Nervous, sorry.
I’m going to have to sit on you. Just be quiet. Who are you talking to?
MUFFLED CRIES Nobody! Only myself! I thought I’d just go over
what you were planning to serve. It’s just Peter can’t have warthog.
It disagrees with him terribly. Uh-huh. I’ll make a mental no…! And I can’t have gazelle. Sends me out in a rash. Don’t ask
me why, I couldn’t tell you. Peter think it’s something
to do with the grass they eat. It’s a mystery. Oh! You all right, dear?
You look a bit flushed. Yes. Yes, I’m f-f-fine. Oh, dear. You having a funny turn,
dear? No, I’m all right. GUNSHOT Hunter! Run! GUNSHOT You have got to be kidding! I’m being shot at!
GUNSHOT And there’s a rabbit
stuck up my arse! How can something
so wrong feel so right? Damn. That was…incredible. I think I am going to… SPLASHING Today couldn’t get any worse,
really, could it? A-Afternoon. SQUEAK! Claire? Oh, shit. Hello, darling. Claire, I heard
shooting. You all right? Oh, yes, darling. Why did that rabbit have its paw
stuck up your bum? Oh! That’s disgusting! Did he really?! Dirty little sod! I’m going to… ..tear you apart right now. Over here. He’ll rue the day he tries to
interfere with my bottom! Bad rabbit. Quick, shoo. But come round and see me again,
won’t you? That was amazing. Yeah. Sure. I’ll be in touch. Like fuck I will! What a psycho. Oh, my paw is knackered! But, hey, I fucked the lioness! # Just heading for my tree… # Why does anybody bother
to watch this…?

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