[Vinesauce] Vinny – Android Trash 5
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[Vinesauce] Vinny – Android Trash 5

August 12, 2019

[Blaring dubstep music] VINNY: WAH! *Sound effect from an ad* *Reverse 1-UP sound* Again, somewhere in… …in-between public service…and suffering, I present to you another Android Shitshow. “Battle Simulator Counter Stickman.” [Loud, wet splat] [Vinny imitates noise] Kinda like that…”Epic Battle Totally Accurate Battle Simulator” shit that I play. Well, y’know, way worse. Yeah, good. Good AI, throw grenade, yes. [Laughs] Yeah, he did it! AD: Meticulous tips for efficiency, So here’s gas. [Ad continues playing] Oh, man! Ad: Ooh, whales! “Hello, Spongebob.” “Hello.” “Hmm. Hmm.” “What’s happening?” “Hmm, I just want to tell you that they have been upgraded now.” “What do you– Did you mean the wolf?” “Yes, of course.” [laughing] What the fuck…are you talking about?! [“Sean Molyneux” voice]
Fortnight Battle Royale Mini Arena Survival. [laughing] It’s called that! Pantsu-chan! [Peter Griffin voice]
Oh my god, Lois. What are you doing? [Peter Griffin voice]
Come o– What are we doing in this… [Peter Griffin voice]
In this world? Oh my god, y–your… [Peter Griffin voice]
Y–your boobs, they’re soccer balls. Oh my god. Wow. [Sigh] I didn’t know tigers could be this boring. Also, what a weird perspective, like, to play from the tiger’s perspective, as the tiger is about to get caged. [Fanfare noise] [Cheering and applause] I don’t know why you would make someone play a game like that. Super Tom and “Jerry” with a G. So here’s the…the classic characters: Jerry. Tom. Realistic dog. [Laughs] All plastered on monkey bodies. I didn’t know Tom and Jerry was in-demand enough to be bootlegged like this. I’m so sorry, Tom and Jerry, you didn’t deserve this. You deserve better. [Sean Molyneux voice] Yeah, alright guys. Yeah! Hill-climbing Bus Simulator? [Beeping] All right, everybody, we’re going uphill! This is Hill-climbing Bus Simulator, after all. Gotta have an angle! Wouldn’t want to just be a bus driver! Yes, please put me, put me on top of that, yes. Impale…my customers. It’s okay, I can reverse out of this. [Beeping and horn noise together] “Cross hurdles and drive bicycle carefully.” This has gotta be dangerous. “Victory!” Is that a pentagram? Everything about this night is unholy. [Loud Super Mario sound effects playing repeatedly] THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? WH-WHAT IS HAPPENING? STOP! Holy shit! Did I win?! Pocket Kitten Cats Go. This music is genuinely horrifying. [Discordant xylophone music] This is a cat? That is…the fucking Ring girl. “Help?” [Laughs] “Please help.” What? What do you mean, “help please?” “You catched Molly cat. Molly cat is funny kitten.” [Laughs] Did you see the ad up top? It said: “Looks like he’s in the shower. Wait your turn or jump in.” Look look look! I don’t know how you fuck up a platformer, but you can do it. You can certainly do it. *Vinny is currently, awkwardly silent about this game* *Some sperm-like things saying “Meep” when popped* [Laughs] [Laughs] Oh no… No!!! Yep, now this is definitely questionable territory. Oh, that one’s got a mohawk? “GAMER”: Alright, we’re almost there. Let’s use these powerful skills I leveled up. VINNY: Hey wh–
“GAMER”: Just a few more hits! VINNY: What’s that? “GAMER”: Yes! Victory. Amazing Strange Rope Hero. He returns. No, why do y– No, why do you need my contacts? So there’s Amazing Strange Rope Hero. Gonna be orange and blue. And, uh, of course, what would a Strange Rope Hero be without a hat? It’s all one type of hat. Well, at least there’s consistency. We know Strange Rope Hero likes to “weared” these hats. “Weared”. [Laughs] That is a horrendous noise. Oh, that’s just a regular car. Okay, I thought that was, like, a Vespa. Hey, do you got the time? Oh wait, we all have the time, we have cellphones. This is– I’m gonna recreate the kiss from the Spider Man movie. Where Toby Reeves… …drops down…on… Don’t get lost in heaven. [laughing] You can’t get lost in heaven if you’re stuck in hell. [Stock female scream] Ho-lyyyyy shit. Fucking mercenaries are riding segways. Wow. What’d I do? What did I just do? Oh my god! Oh! These are not Marvel superheroes, this is fucked up. What do you- what- Excuse me, can I help you? [laughing] Oh my God. Oh no, stop that. Wow, this is a violent game! “Street cop…killed.” Oh, street c–[laughs] I didn’t know street cops carried RPGs! It’s for the best. Excuse me, I’m gonna need that. I’m not even playing the game now, it just, it’s playing automatically. Okay. Thanks. Yeah, I need that. “Job: Extinguish the fi–” This is actually a really detailed game. …for Strange Rope Garbage. [Laughs] What do you mean, “mission–” Fuck you! Fuck you! *ad starts playing* No. Stop, skip, skip, skip! [Imitates ad] Wow, this is a really, like, morally ambiguous hero– Actually, I would say this, this isn’t even morally ambiguous. This, this dude’s just fucked up. Di-did you just- did you look at the skeleton! It’s DANCING! I’m gonna stop. I just want to kick this dude on the Segway real quick. Good. G–Good, good, good, get in there. And I’m dead again. I’m curious, would you, um… Would you allow a talking horse
(pronounced like “hoorse”) …to access your photos, media, and files? How sensitive is your data? GAME: A. A. B. C. D. E. F. [Firework noise]
G. H. I. J. K. VINNY: What? L. M. N. O. P. Q. R. S. T. VINNY: (quietly) What the fuck?
TV: U. V. W. X. Y. Zed. This is cursed and creepy and I hate it. Like, what is that, though? Fireworks in eggs that don’t break but they break anyway and…. [Teeth washing sounds, accompanied by ominous music] (Whispered) God is dead… [Dance music plays] [Pooping sounds] God is dead, God is Dead *Ḩ̢̦͈̞̗͍̼̊̉͐̍͝ͅo͔̫͉͓̘̐̇͋͛̑̓͘̕͡ͅr̲͕͇̻̾͋̍̂͐̾̓̚͢s̵̜̱͚̜͎͑͆̇̽̿͂̿͞ȩ̱̼̭̝͎͎͔̞̍͊͆̈́͋̆̀̓ ad playing* Stop stop stop. Stop stop stop stop stop it! Stop it. [Horse whistles “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider” and gets several notes wrong] Wow. I just made the talking horse take a shit. [groan of discomfort] Can’t really do much except kill the horse. No, Mr. Shrek! I’m sorry, Shrek! [Shrek voice] Why did you come to MY house?! It’s all ogre now! [Whistling]

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  1. How to win the Stickman Swat Sim game thing:
    Step 1: Spam glocks.
    Step 2: Buy an MP5.
    Epic victory royale, 10/10 would reccomend.

  2. 01:06 – We have arrived in mAfland!!
    (Seriously. That's the name of the song. This one is the 2006 remix. It's great!)

    And, 03:21 – I'm about 112% sure this tune is from a Super NES game…

  3. I actually had a Tom and Jerry Game boy advanced game when I was a kid and it was much better than that Android one you played. That's just sad.

  4. You know what, every time someone saids mobile gaming is the future and will over throw console gaming one day… I'll just show them this

  5. Never thought that after the horse shit I would see Shrek chasing after Vinny and say to myself "Oh thank god something normal"

  6. That horse resembles to 2 thing: Ludwig the Cursed from Bloodborne and the rapist Monster horse from Berserk. And this one is far more creepy.

  7. Damn sounds like even the cursed talking horse is whistling ''katyusha'', an old soviet era folksong that seems to be playing in almost all of the bootlegs

  8. I kept autoplay on while I was watching Joel, played 5 videos, and then went back to you

    I think that says something

  9. What was the penis game called….

    because….asking for a friend…..

    …….also what FullSauce video was it found in?

  10. @ 3:22 Holy shit, that's music from Stunt Race FX. I used to play it all the time after renting it from hollywood video.

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